Preservation
by chimingofthebells
Summary: Merlin and Arthur have a fight and Arthur storms out. That night Merlin gets a phone call that shatters his whole world.


The argument was stupid, _stupid, _and by the time the door had slammed behind Arthur Merlin didn't even remember what it was about. He remembered Arthur in a bad mood after a meeting with his father, and comments that led to shouting that led to a plate shattering on the ground by Merlin's feet.

Merlin stared hard at the door to the flat that Arthur had just walked out of. His hands were curled into fists at his side, trembling with rage.

"Fine," he spit, "Fine!"

He stepped over the porcelain shards on the way to the bedroom. Let Arthur see them when he comes back, he thought bitterly, so he'd remember that he was the one in the wrong here.

His anger calmed as he brushed his teeth. Arthur's toothbrush lay on the edge of the sink, making Merlin wonder where Arthur was going to stay tonight, if he wasn't going to stumble home drunk at three in the morning.

By the time he crawled into bed his anger had receded completely into weariness. The spot where Arthur usually slept was empty for the first time in months, and Merlin reached out to pull his pillow closer to him. He sighed into it, wondering if he should call Arthur and ask him to come home.

No, Merlin reasoned, Arthur would come home on his own. When he did they would both apologize and work things out. That's what fiancés do, after all. They come home to each other.

Merlin fell asleep with his face buried in Arthur's pillow and his fingers twisting the ring on his other hand.

He was woken by the sound of his cell vibrating on the table next to him. In his sleepy haze, he thought _It must be Arthur calling _as he fumbled for the phone.

He frowned at the bright screen. It was three in the morning, and the number wasn't Arthur's. He pressed the accept button.

"Hello?"

A young female voice answered him. "Hello, is this Merlin Emrys?"

"Yes."

"You're listed as emergency contact for Arthur Pendragon, is that correct?"

Merlin sat up, pressing the phone harder to his ear. "Why, what happened to him? Is he alright?"

"He's been in an accident," The woman said, "He's been taken to hospital. Can you get here soon?"

"God," Merlin stammered. He was already out of bed and scrambling to find his shoes. "God, yeah, shit. I'll be there in half an hour. Is it serious? What happened?"

"He's in operation right now, we'll tell you more when you get here," The woman said patiently.

Twenty-seven minutes later found Merlin flying through the hospital doors in pajamas and Arthur's spare hoodie because Merlin didn't allow himself time to locate his bulky winter coat.

He startled the young man at the desk, eyes wide and frantic, red with tears and lack of sleep and fear. The receptionist directed him to A. Pendragon and Merlin was off, running through the halls.

"What's wrong with him?" Merlin demanded of the nurse he found standing in the hall, "Is he alive? What happened to him?"

"Mr. Emrys?" The nurse said, consulting her board.

"Yes, yes, that's me. What happened?"

"My name is Sefa," She said. She offered a hand which Merlin shook a bit too vigorously. She winced and withdrew to her clipboard.

"Mr. Pendragon has been in a serious bus accident," She read, "The driver reported he walked right in front of the bus before he had time to slow down. There was alcohol in Mr. Pendragon's blood."

Merlin's heart sank. "We had a fight earlier," He admitted. "But is he..."

"He's alive," Sefa said, but Merlin didn't like the edge to her voice, as if she was preparing him for bad news. "However his injuries are bad."

"How bad?"

Sefa returned to her clipboard.

"He's got a crack in his skull, several broken ribs and a ruptured lung, as well as severe internal bleeding." Sefa looked apologetic as she glanced back up. "We're doing all we can for him, sir, but I'm afraid we can't guarantee that he'll survive."

Merlin choked back a whimper. "He can't _die," _he said.

"I'm sorry," Sefa said, and she looked like she truly meant it. "In the meantime there are some forms you should fill out as his emergency contact. If you like we can arrange a bed for you until morning-"

"No, I'll stay here," Merlin interrupted, "I'll just- I'll wait."

Sefa nodded. "Of course. I'll show you to the waiting room."

Morgana was the first person Merlin called, and when she arrived she pulled him into a tight hug and pressed her face into his shoulder.

He let her do the rest. She kept her hand clamped over Merlin's as she sat next to him, something Merlin was grateful for.

He filled out the forms, jiggled his knee up and down, got up and paced, and made coffee for him and Morgana even though neither really wanted any. "We had just fought," Merlin whispered, half to Morgana and half to himself, "We had a fight and he stormed out, and I thought he'd be back. I thought he'd be back..."

Morgana patted his shoulder, tears of her own spilling over her cheeks.

Sefa returned periodically to give updates. At five AM she informed them that Arthur was out of surgery but couldn't receive visitors. She was kind when she said it, even offered them a deck of cards to pass the time, but Merlin couldn't help but hate her when she said he couldn't see Arthur yet.

Distantly Merlin was aware that he was tired, that he hadn't slept in hours and likely wouldn't for a while, but the fear and worry attacking his mind made him forget it.

They tried playing a game of cards, they made coffee and let it go cold. Morgana fell asleep in her chair, leaving a heavy silence between Merlin and the cold waiting room. A young-looking man across the room holding a sleeping daughter in his arms gave Merlin a tired looking smile. Merlin grimaced in return.

Finally at seven in the morning Sefa told them they could see him.

Behind a curtain in the far end of the room, Arthur lay on his back in bed.

For the first time since Merlin had known him, Arthur looked fragile. Merlin had seen so many different parts of Arthur: The strong, confident, egotistical version that he showed to most of the world, the kind-hearted gentleman that he showed to those close to him, and the vulnerable man he showed only to Merlin. In the years Merlin had spent knowing him, Arthur had been many things, but fragile was never one of them. He was meant to be a constant, a strong figure who would always be there. For the first time, here in this hospital, it seemed to Merlin that Arthur might not always be there.

But that couldn't be true. Arthur would never leave, not like this. They were about to be _married, _for christ's sake, it shouldn't end like this...

All for a stupid fight, Merlin thought bitterly as he wrapped both hands around Arthur's and held on tight. He didn't realize he was crying until Morgana's hand rested on his shoulder, and he felt his own shoulders heaving.

He knelt on the hard linoleum floor and pressed shaking kisses to each of Arthur's knuckles and the engagement ring that matched Merlin's.

"He was drunk," Merlin whispered, "We had a fight and he left and got drunk."

"All couples fight," Morgana soothed. Her eyes were puffy as well. "It's not your fault."

"I know," Merlin gasped, "I know, but if I had called him back-"

Morgana continued to rub circles into Merlin's back.

"He'll be alright," She said, "Just hang on, Merlin."

Funny, Merlin thought, that Morgana was telling him to hang on, not the one currently lying bandaged in a hospital bed.

They stayed in silence for a while until Morgana took a look at her phone.

"I've got to go," She sighed, "I'll come back later today. Get some sleep, Merlin."

She leaned forward to kiss Arthur's forehead, then Merlin's. Then she walked away and was gone.

A nurse who wasn't Sefa brought Merlin a hard plastic chair to sit on, which Merlin fell asleep in. He woke up with his hands still limply clutching Arthur's, his face pressed into the mattress.

The small part of Merlin that wasn't terrified thought Arthur looked a bit like a cyborg with the amount of machines hooked up to his body. He smiled, resolving to write the idea down and turn it into a short story. Arthur would like that, yet another story of Merlin's inspired by him.

At noon the nurses sent him away so that they could check on Arthur's vitals. One, a woman named Elaine, took a stern look at Merlin and instructed him to go home and get proper rest, that she would make sure Arthur would be safe while he was gone. Merlin waited for Morgana to return before he left, just in case Arthur woke up so that he wouldn't be alone.

A day passed, and another. Merlin called his mother, ate in the hospital canteen, flicked through the magazines, fiddled with his ring. Morgana brought him his notebook, and Merlin filled page after page with his story. Artemus, the government experiment gone wrong, who depended on the machines in his body to live. Artemus was indestructible, powerful, able to tear down entire cities if he wanted. But Artemus still had a human heart, so he used his powers for good.

Merlin's pages ran out, so he went to the shop in the hospital and bought another notebook, which he used until that was all full as well.

In the middle of the third day, while Merlin was deciding whether Artemus' artificial lungs should fail, Sefa came to him.

"Mr. Emrys," She said, "I'd like to talk to you about Mr. Pendragon."

Merlin looked up at her. She was wearing a small smile, the kind people wear when they're about to tell you something they know you don't want to hear.

He said nothing and waited for her to speak.

"Mr. Pendragon has been unconscious for nearly three days," She said, "It's usually at this time that we should start to prepare ourselves."

"For...?"

"...Alternative options."

Merlin blinked at her. She appeared to be holding her breathe. "There's a man here who wants to talk to you about organ donations-"

Merlin stood up, the notebook in his lap flying onto Arthur's bed.

"No," he said, the word sharp and cold, "He's not dying."

"Not for sure, but you should prepare yourself for the worst..."

"He isn't dying."

Sefa tried to protest, but Merlin sent her away with a glare. He took his seat and continued writing. He decided Artemus' artificial lungs would miraculously function after all.

He fell asleep slumped against Arthur's chest with the notebook crushed between them.

* * *

Merlin tugged at the collar of his shirt. Black, like everything else on him. He hated black. It was the worst color. He eyed the flowers with envy- they had color.

He was aware of people looking at him from across the room, whispering to each other behind their hands. Merlin pretended not to notice them and turned his glass in his hands. He'd prefer not to speak with anyone at the moment.

Well, he thought as someone approached him, maybe he could make an exception.

"Hey," Merlin said.

"Hey," Arthur said. "Enjoying your party?"

Merlin smiled. It was a lovely party. Everyone was there to adore him, after all. Still, he leaned in and whispered, "This suit is killing me."

"Oh come on, you look dashing."

"You promised after our wedding I wouldn't have to wear a suit ever again."

"You knew my father is who he is, don't act like you believed me."

Merlin sighed. "It's only a book release, it doesn't need to be black tie!"

Arthur chuckled. "Don't worry, I have plans to get you out of it. But you should stay for another hour at least. Don't you want to bask in your glory?"

Merlin grinned more widely at that. _Artemus _was on its way to be a bestseller, and people were lavishing praise on him. It was his most successful book yet.

"Not everyone is as egotistical as you are."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I'm extremely handsome and important, of course I'm egotistical."

Merlin shook his head fondly. "You're lucky the doctors are watching you, or I'd knock that smile off your face."

"No, you wouldn't, you wrote a bookabout me. And you married me."

"True."

"Shame you had to kill Artemus in the end," Arthur went on, "He was my favorite."

"Hey!" Someone called who happened to be nearby, "No spoilers, please! Some of us haven't gotten to the end!"

"Sorry," Arthur said, though he didn't look apologetic.

"So," Merlin said, drawing out the vowel. "I've already signed the books and made my speech, I don't think I need to stick around any longer..."

Arthur rolled his eyes again, but kept the smile on his face.

"Come on, then, if you're so eager."

Merlin cheered and launched himself into a kiss, smiling against Arthur's mouth.

"Wait until we get home, at least," Arthur muttered. Merlin jumped up and walked around behind him.

"Let's go, then."

Merlin took hold of the handles of Arthur's wheelchair, and quietly so as not to attract attention, they went outside.

* * *

**AN: I haven't had the time to really sit down and write anything recently since schoolwork is getting crazy, so I wrote this quick while I could. Thanks for reading!**


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